Picking your wedding party

OurWeddingDay.com has some initial thoughts on what the Best Man’s role is in your wedding party, but before you figure out what the Best Man is going to be responsible for, figuring out how to pick the Best Man (or Woman, as it were) along with any other groomsmen or attendants is probably a good idea, no?

So what goes into choosing the people in your wedding party? Well, there are usually a few questions you can ask yourself (or your partner) before really getting into the nitty gritty. And don’t worry, this isn’t like the “cutting down the guest list” type of conversation, just some basics. Something to think about before simply picking the guy you happen to hit the bars with most often.

• Are there family members we’d like to have in the party?
• How many people are going to be in my partner’s party, and do we want to “match?”
• Who do I trust the most with wedding rings, any tips for services we’re working with, keeping the rest of the crew in line, and making sure all the details are crossed off the lists on that big day?
• When it comes down to it, who would actually enjoy having a bachelor party / guys weekend / whatever?

Of course, things like the person who will be least likely to destroy your nuptials with a speech at the reception are important to consider as well, but this is a great place to start.

Now that you’ve got the Best Man out of the way, what else needs to be done? Well, some of those questions are still in play, such as the “how many” issue. Do you “need” to match up groomsmen with bridesmaids (don’t worry, most won’t complain - especially the single ones) for one reason or another? Are there brothers that have included you that you’d really like to return the favor (for good reasons or bad?

At the end of the day, though, it’s not about feeling like you “owe” it to people to ask them to be in your wedding. Keep in mind - and those of you who have been in weddings before will be able to relate - that there are costs in mind, whether it the tuxedo purchase or rental, potentially some travel, etc. If it’s important for you to have a relative or friend in your wedding party, but you don’t want to “put them out” by asking them to spend $150 on a tuxedo or $300 a night to stay at the hotel? Maybe there’s a creative way to split the costs across the whole crew, or just cover their costs yourself in honor of them agreeing to participate.

The good news is, there are a million ways to break this down and make it work. Don’t think just because your best friend had six guys in his wedding that you need to the same. Also, you might find that breaking up some of the “responsibilities” that the Best Man might have carried out between your wedding party as a whole in the interest of time or other resources.

Got a question for Groomify? Hit us up here.

Being a part of the conversation

Alright, so if there’s one thing any prospective groom has learned, even shortly after getting engaged, is that every so often, he’s going to have to participate in some conversation or another. So, what’s the solution to that? Well, keep up on “news” and such from time to time that keeps you from getting the “evil eye,” that’s what.

As a for instance, knowing even one or two little tidbits about Jenna Bush’s wedding this May could get you a little extra something in the love department. Now, that isn’t to say that “embroidered organza” is the key phrase you’ll need to drop anytime soon, but having an idea or two of what kind of dress you might like couldn’t hurt. From A-line to Mermaid, there’s a couple things to know.

Why not study up a little? And remember, if you have a question or two for Groomify, drop us a line here.

Because you needed a reminder

The fine folks at The Knot are looking to get your bride to be to remind you, if you hadn’t already asked her to be said bride-to-be, about the items on this proposal checklist. Kind of ruins the surprise of it all, if you ask me, but I guess if you’re *really* trying to get someone to ask you to marry them, this is one way of doing it. A big, fat, obvious, blatant way to do it.

My favorite item on the list is “Share the News.” I mean, I’m super psyched to be engaged and getting married, and have told pretty much anyone I thought would care to know, but that should come with the additional “and make sure you have a REALLY detailed story on the responses that people had when you told them.” If your voice doesn’t change when you’re describing responses, especially those from people of the female persuasion, then you fail. Miserably.

Next time, I’ll tell you how I really feel.

Got a question for Groomify? Ask us here.